Secret Santa

Best "Secret Santa" gift ever?

Contents:
- 3 Ninja Stealth Black Throwing Knives
- Carrying case with belt loop
- Package of groundhog targets (life sized)
- "Knife and Tomahawk Throwing" by Harry McEvoy

Aaaaaand it's on the road

Just in time for winter. Ah, who am I kidding? I at least got to get some good drives in. May actually take it out again on Sunday if it's supposed to be 45 and sunny, and the earlier week's rain has (hopefully) washed all the salt off the roads.

Here are some pictures from a professional photo shoot. Apparently it's going to be in a restoration/hot rod magazine. I'll believe it when I see it, but whatever. At some point I'll shoot a video on my flip cam and then you can all cream in your jeans when you see me driving it down the road.

Enjoy!

Oh, so naughty!

Totally lucked out and found Scott Co plates from '47.

Probably my favorite picture of the shoot.

Pay no attention to the missing grille bars. I have them, just haven't put em on.

Note the gun in the gun rack. Must be the only "gangsta" rolling in a '47 IH.

Pay no attention to the missing hub cap.

Good shot of the antiqued lettering we put on it. Note the 5 digit phone number.

And blonds dig it too.

Note the chopped up fenders in the bed.

More From The Garage...

Slowly but surely we're keeping at the restoration. Ordering parts, cleaning old stuff up, telling lies, and drinking a few beers. At this point my mechanical skills are dubious at best, but my trouble-light holding is still on point. Here are some more photos:

Click on the pictures for hi-res views. YOWZA!

305 Chevy small block engine

Freshly degreased and powerwashed. To give the motor a unique look, we decided to put International Harvester valve covers over the top of the Chevy ones.

Custom made motor mount, bottle of Dew.

Well you can't put a Chevy Orange motor in an International, can you? We opted for "International Harvester Red". Sandblasted the old valve covers. Painted up nice! We'll put dummy bolts in the holes to make it look like it's bolted into the heads.

Dummy breathers just to give it a racing engine look. Hoping it will throw people off. Painted the intake a gun metal gray to offset the red and accent the chrome. Will do a chrome air filter, too.

Now, if it was just installed...

.

Down at Checkered Past

Okay, we're back. Got the ol' binder down to the shop. We got the hood off before I could snap a pic, so you'll just have to imagine it.

A much higher res picture here. You can get a sense for the condition. If you click for a bigger pick you can see a pretty cool Studebaker rat rod in the background.

The flathead, sans intake and exhaust manifolds. Engine plate shown on the firewall. 214 cubic inch, rated at 73 horsepower. RAWR!

Pay no attention to the rusty running board. It never did anything to you.

Almost all the hoist can handle. Had to cut the cross member where it attached to the back of the motor. It had to go anyway.

Almost...

Aaaaand, it's out.

Remarkably lighter!

Complete with a filthy transmission. We kept the gear shift stick and will put it on the new transmission. Also will reuse the original horn.

A couple of lonely dudes...

1947 KB-2 International Restoration

Welcome back, kiddies. What a better way to rejuvenate my blog than with a self-serving post about restoring an old truck? I encourage you to follow along while I use big words to sound like I know what I'm talking about -- or you know, just look at the pictures.

I got this beast in October, and after towing it home from Lynnville, IA, it has sat idle in my garage. Not running. Not having brakes. With a broken rear spring. But goddamnit, the thing was mine, and I'd always wanted an old truck. As soon as it was towed home, the wife just looked at it, smiled, and shook her head. Her only talk of the truck usually involves the words "Sanford" and "Son" - most typically in that order.

Now I can hear you asking yourself, "what does he know about working on cars?". I don't know much, but I'm willing to do what I can and hopefully learn some stuff along the way. (Also a little known fact: in 1997 I was voted the best Trouble Light holder in three counties). I realize it's now March and it's been five months since the Craigslist purchase. It has given me plenty of opportunities to sit in my garage and stare at it while I drink High Lifes and smoke cigarettes. Sometimes I even sit in it and make VROOM VROOM noises. The horn still works, so I'd frequently honk it when imaginary women waved at me as I drove past them.

The truck was all original when I got it (oops, just found out someone put a different rear end on it). The original flathead engine, drum brakes, wood bed, chain mounted tailgate, crank out windshield. It wasn't without some customizations though - it has a friggin' gun rack in the back window. I'll say again, IT HAS A FRIGGIN GUN RACK IN THE BACK WINDOW.

Long story short, the original engine is somewhat close to running. It needs some valve work done and new rings. Much to the chagrin of many old schoolers, I've decided to put a small block Chevy engine in it. I have my reasons and you have yours, but ultimately the SBC makes more sense for me. I'm saving all of the old stuff, so hopefully a guy who's into the original stuff can put it to good use.

Specs: 1947 KB-2 International Harvester pickup, GRD-214 flathead six motor, three speed transmission on the floor, heavy duty Knox box

Well, here are some pics. I apologize for the quality. Most are taken with my crappy cell phone. Some are taken with my camera, and I'll be trying to use that from now on. Without further banter, here they are:
The front end is really why I bought this. It's a '47, but IHC was still doing a pre-War body style. Notice the pointy front end and all the chrome grillework. I have all the parts that are missing.

The aforementioned "Knox" box. It was an upgraded box, apparently with heavier gauge steel.

Big fenders!

Fairly rust-free considering the age. It helps that it sat many years in a barn. Bonus part: the engine was covered in coon/cat shit, the glove box was literally a mouse nest. I guess the gun rack failed to scare them off.

Until next time, when we'll have it in Checkered Past's hot rod shop....


>

Sup, doods?

Hey! Check it out!

http://www.dalesqc.com

http://www.exileonclark.com/2011/01/two-minutes-of-hate-2011-cubs-higher.html

Holla at you later!

Sr. Eternal Stench

Happy Anniversary to Mrs. Eternal Stench!!

special thanks to Daft Funk for the design

Oh, So Close!

6" separated me from the likes of Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, and Joe Kelly. It was my home course of Highland Springs, and I was playing with the Roboner and a few Rolls. A windy par 3 that had me wishing I hadn't lost my 9 iron, I selected "The Ocho" and gave it a nice, easy swing. I landed about 15 feet from the hole and the ball looked like it had eyes for the hole. Too bad it didn't.

Chicago Hawkeyes

Not sure if any of you went to the the Hawkeye football game in Soldier's Field a few years back. The whole place was a sea of yellow. It was a pretty awesome experience, aside from sitting in the north end zone, where we were unable to escape the hot, August sun and got a nice sunburn for our troubles.

Word on the street is that Iowa is returning to Soldier's Field once again to take on Northern Illinois. First game of the season in 2012. I'm definitely going back. I even co-wrote a recap of the experience with fellow TMS bartender and surly old Jew, Chaim Witz. You can vicariously experience the whole thing again here.

Here's your chance to run into all of those frat boys from Iowa City that you just loved. Where else will you ever have a chance to start telling obnoxious stories of their pasts, in front of their wives/girlfriends no less, about their college exploits of cronyism, sodomizing, and cheating on tests. Trust me, I bet all of those Pikes and Sig Eps will just LOVE that shit. ("Hey man, I bet you have your paddle hanging on your wall in the basement, right?! Yeah!! GRRR! JAGER BOMBS!!")

Editor's Note: even though that Herky picture is from the 80's or 90's, you gotta admit that it's killer!

Baseball!!

My favorite sport is back, so I figured I'd break down the Cubs for this year. Breaking the news here, since Thunder Matt's Saloon is no longer. I already said that, right?

OFFENSE

Catcher: Geovanny Soto - color me as skeptical. If you look at his career numbers, his Rookie of the Year season appears to be an aberration. I hope I'm wrong, but something about Cub catchers make me really uneasy. I'd be happy if he could give us a .250/16/65 Projected Grade: C

First Base: Derrek Lee - DLee bounced back last year with a solid season. His offensive numbers shot back up, giving him his best season since 2005. I'm not sure that you can count on that type of production again, especially considering that he's now 35, but he should be solid if he's healthy. Projected Grade: B

Second Base: Mike Fontenot - Yeah, Mike Fontenot, with a likely platoon with Jeff Baker. I'm over Fontenot. His glove is not special, his speed is not special, and save for the occasional long ball, his bat is nothing special. And he really pisses me off when he fails to bunt or move a runner over. Sure, that's mostly the whole team, but he's the scapegoat. So many FA moves could have been made here to upgrade this position. Projected Grade: C-

Short Stop: Ryan Theriot - The very serviceable Ryan Theriot. You know what you're getting from Theriot. He'll make most of the plays that he should make in the field, and won't make the ones that are highlight worthy. He'll hit around .300, steal a few bases, and will undoubtedly be hit out of position. He's not a leadoff hitter, but I guess it's better than Alfie. Projected Grade: B-

Third Base: Aramis Ramierez - Will he stay healthy? That is the big question with Ramierez. If he does, he'll give us a great glove on the hot corner and a line of .300/30/100, if he doesn't, well, get used to Jeff Baker or the newly acquired corpse of Chad Tracy. Make no mistake: A-Ram is the cornerstone of this offense. Projected Grade: B

Left Field: Alfonso Soriano - also known as a steaming pile of dog fudge. Horrible in the field, severely regressing speed on the bases, diminishing power numbers which will surely further plummet by hitting down in the order (if you throw him a fastball, you should be sent to AAA), a body that's breaking down, and a crippling contract. Please Alfie, PLEASE just give us 80 RBI. That's all I want (other than a trade, if a team were stupid enough to go for it) Projected Grade: C-

Center Field: Marlon Byrd - HEY! Something to look forward to. I mean, at least it's not Milton Bradley! I'm a bit leery of his last season's numbers being a breakout year and that they came from a hitter's park in Texas, but whatever. Thus far he seems to be a likable guy, and a guy with some sorely needed power from an OF spot. I'm excited! Projected Grade: B

Right Field: Kosuke Fukudome - I like the hustle, I like the baseball smarts, I like that he's somewhat fleet of foot, I love his defense, I hate his contract, I hate his whirlybird strikeouts where he doesn't even come close to stepping towards the pitcher. Kosuke NEEDS to have a strong year for the Cubs to contend. He needs to play a complete season, no more petering out at the end, or getting off to a start that's slower than molasses in January. Projected Grade: B-

STARTING PITCHING

Starters:
Carlos Zambrano - I'm hearing a lot about a breakout year. I'm hearing a lot about how he's refocused on his mental approach and how he's taken care of his body in the offseason and has lost weight. I don't buy any of it. Zambrano is not an ace. I think Zambrano is a 3rd starter. He'll never get over his mental problems, and I think he'll have a bad season. Projected Grade: D

Ryan Dempster - Steady as she goes, Cum Dump. He's getting up in years, but the guy is a gamer. He's lost some zip on his fastball, but he seems to be pitching smarter. Unlike Zambrano, I think Dump will have a strong season. Let's say 15 wins and an ERA in the mid to high 3's. I'll be happy with that, wouldn't you? Projected Grade: B

Ted Lilly - Starting the year on the DL after offseason surgery. Lilly quietly has been the Cubs most consistent pitcher of the last 2 seasons. You have to wonder about a a guy in his mid-30's when he's coming off of shoulder trouble, I'm hoping he gets by on guts and guile - you know, a textbook "Crafty Lefty". Projected Grade: C+

Randy Wells - The guy that we could never score runs for is back! Wells was 12-10 last year with a very respectable 3.05 ERA. He probably should have been 15-7, but that's baseball. He doesn't have overpowering or nasty stuff, he just locates well and changes speeds. Perhaps a poor man's Mark Buehrle? I'd definitely take that from a 3rd or 4th starter! I expect a bit of regression as the league has now seen him for an entire season, but he still should be solid. Projected Grade: C+

Carlos Silva - He's fat, and he's what we got for getting rid of Milton Bradley. Frankly, I'd rather have seen Sean Marshall here, but maybe they didn't want to have 3 lefties in the starting rotation. I don't know anything about Silva other than that he's fat and he's got a historically high ERA. Maybe coming to the NL will help him. All I'm hoping for is that he can be an innings eater. And really, what can you really expect from a #5 starter? Projected Grade: C-

BULLPEN

Esmailin Caridad - Who? Yeah, I know. He's got some nasty stuff from what little I saw of him at the season's end last year and a bit of spring training stuff this year. I think the Cubs are looking for him to be an 8th inning guy now that Angel Guzman looks like his career is done. Who knows. Expect some growing pains. Projected Grade: C

Sean Marshall - our lefty who it looks like the Cubs want to be the long relief guy. Never mind that he should be starting, but I digress. He'll be a valuable commodity in a young bullpen with very little experience. Projected Grade: C+

John Grabow - the lefty situational reliever. He's not great, but not awful either, but he's making almost $3m a year. Projected Grade: C

A bunch of other dudes. Collective Projected Grade: C-

Carlos Marmol - Oh, Carlos. For the past two seasons I've told all who listened that you are destined to become Juan Cruz version 2.0. I hope I'm wrong. I hope you can get your control down and let you nasty movement leave batters frustrated from swinging and missing rather than be frustrated from another bruise by way of your recurring beanballs. This is his year where the closer job is his from the start. +/- for saves is 25. I'm nervous. Projected Grade: C+

OVERALL OUTLOOK

I don't feel good with this team. For it to win the Central, it seems that too many guys would have to produce career years, and that's not a good sign. I don't see the pitching being there, especially in the bullpen. With the lack of action in the offseason, I get the impression that the new management is looking to ride out these bad contracts until they can get something that they can work with. The problem is, by the time that happens, our big and reliable offensive guys like Lee and A-Ram will be past their primes. Needless to say, I'm not optimistic about the season. I predict a .500 record and a third place finish in the divisions. Like a dumbass, though, I'll be watching as much as I can.

Is There Still Room on the Bandwagon?

Why would the Hawkeyes want Ali Farokhmanesh when we had John Lickliter? In case you didn't know, UNI's hero point guard is from Iowa City. I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that we didn't even recruit him (but to be fair, I don't think he got ANY D-I looks out of Iowa City West).

Has there ever been a better year to have your bracket blown to bits? I couldn't be happier. Seeing wins like UNI over Kansas, Murray State pulling one out, Alford getting his pompous ass tossed after barely skating by my Griz in Round One, Ohio beating Georgetown, etc, etc, etc. That being said, I already have lost two of my Final Four teams. Ouch.

Dirty rumor out there: Kalin Lucas and teammate Chris Allen failed drug tests. Allegedly, the test were issued proactively by MSU to scare the players straight. My source says they both failed the test just prior to the Big Ten tourney, but only Chris Allen was benched, and under the guise of not meeting team principles or some bullshit like that. Lucas, being the star, got to play regardless. Care to take back some of your comments, Izzo?

"It's an amazing world I live in," Michigan State coach Tom Izzo said Monday, when a reporter asked for his reaction to the firing. "I don't know Todd that well, but I know this: he's a quality guy, he doesn't cheat, he does it the right way. I think, for what he had with the injuries and suspensions because of alcohol, I thought he did a hell of a job."

And I guess UNI doesn't get a pass either. When your starting center, Jordan Eglseder, gets a DUI and only gets suspended for 3 games, which just happened to expire by the time the all-important MVC Tourney started. Well, maybe Lickliter shouldn't have been so harsh on his players. I'm sure THAT'S why we didn't win...